Journey to the East – the physical bit

So D-day had finally arrived. It was time to set off for Harima. I must admit I wasn’t off to a particularly great start. For one I’d messed up the night before and eaten dairy meaning my stomach was in bulk and I’d barely slept, not good. I’d also been very cranky, something about packing had just made everything feel that much more real and I was taking it out on the people around me. To top it off watching the original Godzilla was not really the best of ideas the night before leaving.

Still up early and semi raring to go. I got a visit from my Auntie Ali and Rod who had brought me a wonderful gift. That’s right only four pages in and my blog already has merchandise, sadly only two t-shirts right now so don’t hold your breath.

Anyway the trip to Manchester was fairly uneventful, I said my goodbyes to a few people, got my bags on, with a few worries about how suspicious my chalk bag looked and got ready to board. The flight to Amsterdam was  faster than the drive to Manchester. I got chatting to a lovely guy who was a retired butcher from Rochester which my have helped. Anyway landing in Amsterdam was a bit of a whirlwind. I landed after my flight started boarding and had to peg it to the gate, not before getting a snap of those mad statues to prove I was there.

I felt like a bit of a spare part on the flight out, I think the passengers were maybe 95% Asian.  Not much conversation but plenty of chance to read. Or at least that was the plan but I couldn't concentrate, way too excited. Well for the first three hours anyway haha, 12 hours is a long time to be stuck in a small metal tube. Also I know airline food is terrible but I'd had to get the vegan meal to avoid dairy. I think on my death bed I still won’t know what they served me for dinner and for breakfast I got curried pineapple rice and a yoghurt (oh wait dairy free right?) so no breakfast pretty much, forgive me for being delicate but curried rice just isn’t really what I want for breakfast.

Other than that the flight was all right actually. Massive choice of films, I watched the Kids are alright and Tangled (oh the shame). I also managed to get chatting to a girl called Kelly from Birmingham University who was on a language exchange to Kobe University. It was nice to discuss thoughts, worries, things I was looking forward to with someone.

Anyway landing procedures were pretty straightforward. The airport is so cool, absolutely massive and on it’s own little Island.  So all on  my way and no hiccups right? Nope life’s never simple. After waiting at the baggage thing for about 10 minutes one of the attendants comes up to inform me that my baggage was left behind in Amsterdam. Thank you KLM. I’d kinda seen this coming due to my short connection time so not too bothered I filled out my forms and legged it outside to the bus stop to jump the limo bus to Himeji.

First thing that hit me about Japan? How industrial everything Is. Everywhere you look there is some kind of factory/construction site/ power plant.  It is definitely a busy busy place. Also there was soo much smog in the air. Not particularly nice. I must admit I didn’t see much of the cities since the journey was mostly on the expressway. These things are incredible. Massive roads that run the length of Japan, at some points they have two stories. I was pretty taken aback.

The bus journey added to another 2 hours of travelling. I thought I’d get some sleep but I was far too excited. I got chatting to an Aus Girl called Aimee. Another language student she was going to be going to Himeji University for 7 months. She’d been out here before and shared some of her good experiences with me, definitely putting me at a bit more ease.

So we arrived at Himeji. Due to the terrible flight food I was starving and I really wanted to try a bento box. Plus since I had no luggage it might be nice to have a walk around, always look to the positives ey. Sadly it wasn’t to be. The bus for spring-8 arrived pretty much straight away and I was whisked to my new home.

I don't remember a lot of the journey I’ll be honest, I’d been awake 36 hours by this point and I couldn’t focus on anything. One thing I do remember is that everything was looking very dry. Most of the trees were bare and the grass was looking very yellow. I’m not sure if I’ve missed spring or I’m early. I hope I’m early really want to be here for Hana-me (cherry blossom season). Anyway as we got closer to Spring-8, mountains surrounded us. This place is absolutely beautiful I’m not gonna lie. Pine trees everywhere and rolling hills and valleys. Not much civilisation though.

1 o’clock and the bus pulled up outside of the front office. I managed to find out where I needed to be and went to meet my supervisor. I was introduced to a load of people whose names I don't really remember and then blissfully was allowed to get some lunch from the cafeteria.  I had okonomiyaki, its kinda like a frittata with cabbage onions and spuds, tasty stuff. Finally fed I went and met Yamada-san, my other supervisor and some of his team. I think everyone could tell I was shattered at this point and they let me head back to the guest-house. By 6 I’d been awake about 48 hours and I crashed out. What a journey. Also check out the funky flavour of Fanta I bought.

Why I'm a munky and things I'll miss.

Well thats why haha. Rock climbing, although I don't profess to be any good at it, I'm absolutely in love with it. The climbing scene in liverpool is a sub culture I didn't even know about and I'm sad I've only scratched the surface. I took it up in early October and have mainly been doing it at indoor rock gyms, though I've been out to some proper crag a couple of times and it now dominates my mind. In fact you could say I'm obsessed.

For most people that word is thrown about flippantly but to me it has a multitude of connotations, most of them negative. I feel I've come along way in my head space to get to the point where I can comfortably say I'm obsessed with something. As I alluded to earlier I'm still recovering from depression and an eating disorder and obsession and compulsion play such a large part in that. My biggest and most dangerous vice was compulsive over exercising. I was 'obsessed' as it were. It was something I 'needed' to do. Looking back I have no idea why.

But still I will say I'm obsessed with rock climbing, amongst a few other things.

Without obsession, life is nothing.
John Waters

And I agree, to have a deep-seated passion for something is genuinely important, so long as it is something you still derive pleasure to. I climb because I want to, not because I need to. I think another reason I've taken to it so much is the powerful metaphor of climbing a mountain, reaching the top. It's a particularly definitive end goal. Life is viewed by some as one long climb or journey. The struggles, the problems you encounter and solve on the way to the summit are all part of what makes it all so worthwhile. I've climbed part of the way out of the abyss of my depression. There were many hiccups, pitfalls and other cliches and I'm sure there will be more, but just like in climbing, reaching each new handhold, position, mental state or whatever just helps to make you stronger.

The other great thing about climbing. The people. You can't do it on your own, you have to rely on others. Someone needs to hold that rope. Again this true in life and the people I've met to hold my 'ropes' are awesome and will be sorely missed whilst I'm away. I thought it would be important to recognise this here so it;s not such a big shock once I hit Japan. Shock, stress, new places, isolation. These are all big triggers for me. but I'm never truly alone when there are so many great people thinking about me so I'm gonna recognise them now.

My great family
This is just a snapshot. I've been blessed with a big family, and whilst they wind me up from time to time (well nearlly all the time) it's only because they care. they've put up with so much of my crap these past 22 years, been with me for the triumphs and the failures and taken them all the same.

I obviously would have never got this far without them and I hope they bare with me as I carry on my journey. I'll be in touch all the time of course (wonders of the modern age) but it won't be the same, sometimes you just want a mothers hug or your dads home cooking. You are in my heart and mind guys.

My incredible friends
These guys are unbelievable. I know its a tad over done to say your friends would die for you but I honestly know that some of them would. Whether I've known them 2 or 22 years my current circle of friends are super tight. A lot of people often comment on it. We've been through so much, and will probably go through even more and enjoy every minute of it.

I feed off their positive energy. Take it when they slap me down and keep me grounded. I don't think I'd be alive if it wasn't for you guys. I know being separated from them played a big part in my despair and they will be sorely missed. Even when we dont see each other for long periods, even when we fight, I know it won't last. We always come back together and our bond of friendship is all the stronger for it. I can talk to you guys about anything so please keep in touch :)

Ultimate Frisbee
Not just the lovely people on the right (Liverpool Uni's Ultimate frisbee team) but all the awesome people I've met or played with/against over the years.

Ultimate is my other 'obsession' and I've been playing it a while now. I've seen it come along way and in particular in my local area. It's sad to walk away from a scene thats getting so good, and my chances to play in Japan may be a bit restricted.

The best thing about ultimate though, is I've never met anyone who plays it that is a complete bellend, so hopefully no matter where I am there will be nice people to chase some disk with.

The city of liverpool
 Well its were I was born, it contains all my favourite people and place ( Mattas-the best shop ever, Awesome walls and the hanger, Sefton park, Great museums and galleries to name but a few). Defoo gonna miss this place.

Other things I'll miss? Well there are a few trivial things, Roman letters maybe? Peanut butter for sure. I bet there are a thousand other things to. Sorry this one was so long and rambling but it is 4 days till I leave now. This has been really playing on my mind. Best to get it out now so it doesn't over shadow all the awesome new things I'll see/feel/experience whilst I'm out there. Plus nine months is nothing right.

“I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it.”

Rosalia de Castro

Whats going on?

So ohisashiburi desu ne? About time for an update from myself. I'm sure many of you (Ha I wish that many people cared about my life) have seen/heard/read about this.

And most likely this as well.

I won't do the catastrophe the diservice of trying to sum it up here. It's a major disaster, truly awful and I'm not a good enough writer to do it justice. Many talented journalists around the world have done that already. What I will say is that Spring-8 th synchrotron at which I'll be working is over 400 miles away from Fukushima. It's also on very high ground, at the foot of a mountain in fact, and has it's own power supply so it shouldn't be hit by the electricity cuts. Here's a nice picture of the synchrotron (look it up :P) ring in the day time.

So what that means is I'm still going to Japan at the end of the month. How do I feel about, well friggin terrified to be perfectly honest. I'm miles from home in a completely different culture in a country thats going through hell. Am I excited though? Hell yizzle. I've been wanting to go here for years and I don't think anything could stop me right now. A good friend once told me that fear and excitement are more or less the same emotions in terms of the neural pathways they employ. I'm definitely feeling that right now.

On a side note I've been doing a lot of work this week in preparation. So as some of you know I'm off to Japan for work. I'm doing a pHD right now in molecular biophysics. That essentially means I'm using x-rays as a means of producing structures of biological molecules. This is something thats quite common practice however I'm trying to take it a few steps further.

Normally this kinda thing is done using crystalline samples of protein, exploiting a property of x-rays known as braggs diffraction that amplifies the intensity of x-rays diffracted by regular crystalline latices, you still with me? Well basically there is a problem with this process and that is most proteins don't form regular crystals, particularly a very important class, membrane proteins. These line the periphery of the cells of our body. These babies are important drug targets and are involved in a lot diseases so it'd be nice to know what they look like.

Back to me :). This week has been totemo itsogashi. I've been tinkering with a machine called a Digital Ion Trap. This thing is used to store proteins that have been artificially charged and vaporized to a gaseous state. It's main application is actually in determining masses of proteins, usually to figure out what is in a complex mixture. We (myself and my supervisors/collaboraters) hope that we can use this thing to capture proteins in the gas phase in a small area so we can bombard them with high power x-ray lasers and ultimately produce an image of them. Sugoi desu ne?

< The DIT

Well anyway I've been fiddling about with this thing all week trying to get as many ions into it as possible. We had some success earlier in the week, but the past couple of days haven't been great, currently I can't seem to get some of my proteins into the trap to begin with. Not the confidence boost I was expecting before leaving :(. I'm just trying not to let it get to me , there are a few more things I wanna try and I do love tinkering anyway so fingers crossed.

Now good news. I can see now  yay. Or at least as well as I ever could. My eye has stabilized now so it shouldn't deteriorate any further, awesome news right. It's only  been 10 days so hopefully things will only get better. Can't wait to play some frizzers :D.

Enl(eye)tening

Well It's been like a week so I'm going to put up a new post. This one isn't japan related but I love a pun, possibly more than most, and this post is a tribute to my gammy eyes. For years I've had a weak left eye but I've just kind of got on with it. My vision wasn't great but it was managible so I just ignored it, silly  I know but I think thats how I work most of the time, I'm very much just  shut up and get on with it, something I'm almost certain I get from you dad :P.

Anyway a bit of background and some tasty tasty eye gore, you have been warned. So whats wrong with me. I have a condition known as Keratoconus (no not Kerry Catonus although i thought that was what the optician told me first time around). What this basically means is that the corneas of my eyes are cone shaped rather than rounded and so incident light is not refracted onto my retina properly, everything seems to be about the diffraction, refraction or reflection of photons of light with me at the mo.




Right so now a bit of a sciency bit. The treatment for this is to remove the top layer of cells from the cornea, they're dead anyway so it;s actually fairly straightforward. My eye was anesthetized and then washed with alcohol. I did have to watch it being scraped off though, that wasn't much fun :(. After that I had to lie still for 1 hour as drops of riboflavin were added to my eye every 5 minutes. The idead is that the riboflavin (or vitamin B2) will be used to cross link the keratin in the cornea, making it more rigid and so flattening and thickening it. Then hopefully normalish vision yay.

Of course you scrape off a load of cells from your eye it's like having a graze on your eyeball. Suffice to say I'm currently suffering alot of Itami no meh. It is a bit frustrating. I had the operation done on monday, can;t see anything out of my left eye of course and it;s a bit of a fight to keep my right eye open.

I can't really read, watch T.V. r do much of anything really. I'm able to right this post simply on the virtue that I don't really need to look at the keys. It's worth it in the long run though. It's funny in a way because I;d never have found out about this if it wasn't for frisbee. A couple of my mates noticed I always seemed to drop discs when they were on my left side and maybe I needed an eye test. I brushed it off the first couple of times but eventually went and pow. I could have gone blind if not for frisbee, what an awesome sport ey. Anyway time to go take it easy (whatever that means).

So whats this all about then?

Right I guess I should make the first post a bit of an explanation really. Who am I? Where am I going? And why the hell am I writing this anyway? Haha it's always best to start at the beginning anyway, or at least thats what my primary school English teacher taught me anyway.

So I think first a self introduction is in order. Hajimimashite, watashi wa Marcus. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.  Yeah anyway My name is marcus and I'm 22 years old, currently doing a pHD in molecular biophysics at liverpool university.  I'll be moving to Japan at the end of the month as part of my pHD project for about 2 years. I'm really excited, I'm in love with japanese culture and have been since I was five and my Grandad told me stories of his time there during his national service.

I'm also pretty scared though. I think I'd be mad not to be. I'm only recently coming out of a rather dark patch in my life. About 2 years ago now I suffered a pretty bad bout of depression following the death of my grandfather. This coupled ith the isolation I was feeling due to being stuck in a rather awful place led me to develop an eating disorder that I've been recovering from for the past year. It was only a short period really but it messed me up something awful.

Now I love to travel but my worries are that being so far from home again could lead me to spiral downwards again. I think I'm far enough recovered to deal with it though and I'm writing this blog to reach out to my friends and family back home and let them know what I'm upto. I'm also hoping t'll act as an incentive to try as many new experiences as possible, I've got to have good things to write about.

Oh I also love to write, it was my major outlet during the worst of my depression and something I've become more and more passionate about. This log is also to hone my skills, so hopefully it won't be too much of an effort to read. I'll be jotting down thoughts, problems, triumphs, failures and really anything else that comes to mind.

I'll finish by explaining the title a bit. Journey to the east, well thats the obvious part really, I'm moving from England to Japan so I'm heading east. It's also a tribute to Journey to the west of course, a great historical chinese novel, adapted into a brilliant TV show in the seventies (I love monkey magic). That leads me onto the Northern monkey bit. Whilst this is a derogatory term for someone from the north of england I think it fits me pretty well, I have a positive ape index and I love climbing.

Enlightenment might be a bit strong a word but I am hoping to find out more about myself on this trip. There are going to be a lot of hardships, but hopefully a lot of pleasantness to. All in all I can't wait to go so I can share my experiences with you lovely people out there.

Matta ne.