Why I'm a munky and things I'll miss.

Well thats why haha. Rock climbing, although I don't profess to be any good at it, I'm absolutely in love with it. The climbing scene in liverpool is a sub culture I didn't even know about and I'm sad I've only scratched the surface. I took it up in early October and have mainly been doing it at indoor rock gyms, though I've been out to some proper crag a couple of times and it now dominates my mind. In fact you could say I'm obsessed.

For most people that word is thrown about flippantly but to me it has a multitude of connotations, most of them negative. I feel I've come along way in my head space to get to the point where I can comfortably say I'm obsessed with something. As I alluded to earlier I'm still recovering from depression and an eating disorder and obsession and compulsion play such a large part in that. My biggest and most dangerous vice was compulsive over exercising. I was 'obsessed' as it were. It was something I 'needed' to do. Looking back I have no idea why.

But still I will say I'm obsessed with rock climbing, amongst a few other things.

Without obsession, life is nothing.
John Waters

And I agree, to have a deep-seated passion for something is genuinely important, so long as it is something you still derive pleasure to. I climb because I want to, not because I need to. I think another reason I've taken to it so much is the powerful metaphor of climbing a mountain, reaching the top. It's a particularly definitive end goal. Life is viewed by some as one long climb or journey. The struggles, the problems you encounter and solve on the way to the summit are all part of what makes it all so worthwhile. I've climbed part of the way out of the abyss of my depression. There were many hiccups, pitfalls and other cliches and I'm sure there will be more, but just like in climbing, reaching each new handhold, position, mental state or whatever just helps to make you stronger.

The other great thing about climbing. The people. You can't do it on your own, you have to rely on others. Someone needs to hold that rope. Again this true in life and the people I've met to hold my 'ropes' are awesome and will be sorely missed whilst I'm away. I thought it would be important to recognise this here so it;s not such a big shock once I hit Japan. Shock, stress, new places, isolation. These are all big triggers for me. but I'm never truly alone when there are so many great people thinking about me so I'm gonna recognise them now.

My great family
This is just a snapshot. I've been blessed with a big family, and whilst they wind me up from time to time (well nearlly all the time) it's only because they care. they've put up with so much of my crap these past 22 years, been with me for the triumphs and the failures and taken them all the same.

I obviously would have never got this far without them and I hope they bare with me as I carry on my journey. I'll be in touch all the time of course (wonders of the modern age) but it won't be the same, sometimes you just want a mothers hug or your dads home cooking. You are in my heart and mind guys.

My incredible friends
These guys are unbelievable. I know its a tad over done to say your friends would die for you but I honestly know that some of them would. Whether I've known them 2 or 22 years my current circle of friends are super tight. A lot of people often comment on it. We've been through so much, and will probably go through even more and enjoy every minute of it.

I feed off their positive energy. Take it when they slap me down and keep me grounded. I don't think I'd be alive if it wasn't for you guys. I know being separated from them played a big part in my despair and they will be sorely missed. Even when we dont see each other for long periods, even when we fight, I know it won't last. We always come back together and our bond of friendship is all the stronger for it. I can talk to you guys about anything so please keep in touch :)

Ultimate Frisbee
Not just the lovely people on the right (Liverpool Uni's Ultimate frisbee team) but all the awesome people I've met or played with/against over the years.

Ultimate is my other 'obsession' and I've been playing it a while now. I've seen it come along way and in particular in my local area. It's sad to walk away from a scene thats getting so good, and my chances to play in Japan may be a bit restricted.

The best thing about ultimate though, is I've never met anyone who plays it that is a complete bellend, so hopefully no matter where I am there will be nice people to chase some disk with.

The city of liverpool
 Well its were I was born, it contains all my favourite people and place ( Mattas-the best shop ever, Awesome walls and the hanger, Sefton park, Great museums and galleries to name but a few). Defoo gonna miss this place.

Other things I'll miss? Well there are a few trivial things, Roman letters maybe? Peanut butter for sure. I bet there are a thousand other things to. Sorry this one was so long and rambling but it is 4 days till I leave now. This has been really playing on my mind. Best to get it out now so it doesn't over shadow all the awesome new things I'll see/feel/experience whilst I'm out there. Plus nine months is nothing right.

“I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it.”

Rosalia de Castro